6 Kasım 2010 Cumartesi

UNEXPECTED EXPERIENCE

That day was one of the most unforgettable days in my life .In fact, everything seemed normal at the beginning of the day. When I got up, I heard the sound of birds which were soaring below our apartment. They gave me a great deal of energy so I thought that that day something would make me happy. Also, I felt depressing hot. It was a usual summer day for me.
I started to prepare immediately in order to catch up my lesson. However, something make me disturb before I left the home. I couldn’t understand why I felt like that. During the day, my feelings increased in an incredible way. After a tiring day, while returning to my home from the school I suddenly found out that the sky was almost red and then I noticed that dogs were barking without stopping. At that moment, I understood everything on the grounds that red sky, dogs which were barking non-stop and my instincts were sings for us. A great severe earthquake was about to occur. However, it was so late because as soon as I found out the reality of everything that occurred during the day, the ground started to shake in a sudden way.
I was in the kitchen when the terrifying shaking started. I can still hear the sounds of plates which fell down to the ground. Plates fell down so fast that I found out my desperate situation at that moment. When I opened my eyes, everything was very silent. In fact, I could not understand what happened but after deeply thinking, I noticed that I was under the landslide. Where were the others? My mom, my dad and my little brother? We were together only two minutes ago but now I didn’t have any information about them. Did they die or were they alive? I was about to go out of my mind. It wasn’t a nightmare. It was completely real and terrifying. I had difficulty with breathing. The only thing that I wanted to be rescued and be reunited with my sweet and warm family. I needed to hear a voice but there was not. I could feel that I was about to lose my conscious because of hunger, thirsty and the weight of concrete. I couldn’t understand how the days passed since I didn’t have the concept of night and daytime. I heard some voices and I could not believe whether these sounds were real or not. I didn’t remember the rest of my survival war because I passed out. When I came to, I were lying on the bed in a hospital. When I asked to nurse what happened to me, she said that I had stayed under landslide in six days and then rescue team saved me from deadly wreckage.
After six terrible days under landslide, I couldn’t believe that I was alive. As soon as I wake up, my eyes searched for my family. Where were they? I saw so many people who were crying noisily and all of them were looking around their family members hopelessly. In fact, I found out that I was alone anymore. However, I didn’t want to believe it but I had to get accustomed to their absence because they died. I will never forget at that moment when I learned their dead. Since those sorrowful days, whenever I see a news about earthquake, I looked back and that days give me a great deal of pain. No matter how I try to forget, I can not manage to this. However, I know I have to get accustomed to live with the memory of those dark and painful days.
Büşra BAHAR
Betül BAŞKURT
Esmehan ÇAVUŞ
Rızgar BAL

2 yorum:

  1. Hi friends: Our grade is 88.
    Creativity= 25
    Language= 13 Sensory details are good.There are tense conflicts in these sentences “However, something make me disturb before I left the home”.
    ” As soon as I wake up, my eyes searched for my family.”
    There are some grammer mistakes .”I see a news..”I have to get accustomed to live with the memory of ..” The preposition usage is wrong.“I had difficulty with breathing.”
    Cohesion/Coherence= 25
    Overall impression = 25 We like your essay. It is creative and fluent. We can easily feel the same feelings . We also feel sorrowful when we read it. Thank you for writing.

    SONAY AKÇADAĞ
    FERHAT AK
    CANSU ARGAN
    MEHMET AKTAŞ

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  2. Overall Evaluation = 25
    Language = 15
    Coherence=23
    Creativiy=23

    Bengi GÜNGÖR
    Cansel İŞLEK
    Gizem HATİPOĞLU

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